I never thought I would be a homeschool mom. I had a great job and was successful in the Information Technology field. I was surprised in the fall of 2003 to learn that I would be "laid off" in January 2004. After the initial shock, I was happy to spend time with my kids without the stress of working every day.
I have done some contract work and also worked on my "pet" project of helping other adoptive families find a child through networking. (www.luv4adoption.com)
Time flew by and pretty soon we were talking about Kindergarten. Since our income was drastically reduced, private school was not an option. Our school district has it's own issues. A couple of people had asked me if I had thought about homeschooling. Not really, but.... I went to a session at our church put on by the homeschool group. It was very informative. Scott was also more receptive to it as we continued to talk and pray about it. I wanted a "sign from God."
In the meantime, we signed Anna up for public school as we continued to think and pray about it. The summer before school started we took Anna to the ENT for a followup hearing checkup and the Dr. started talking about the issues we would have in school. She would need "preferential seating", she would miss a lot in group discussions, etc. We mentioned that we were considering homeschooling, he said that would be great and eliminate a lot of issues. He did go on to talk about where she should sit in the car, at the table, etc. But, it was a lot less to deal with in a small group setting. So this was the "sign" I needed and our decision was made.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Questions for Adoption Agency
What is the best way to pick an adoption agency? I have made a list of questions for adoptive parents to help select an agency. These questions are written specifically for domestic adoptions in the United States.
* How long have you been in business?
I would recommend that you find an agency that has been doing domestic adoptions for at least five years. It takes awhile to market an agency and if no one knows them, they will have few expectant parents coming in.
* Are you a non-profit?
Some adoption grants require that you work with a non-profit agency.
* How many children have you placed in each of the last five years? How many of these were situations where the adoptive parents had found the birthmother on their own?
Some agencies really push networking (this is not bad). If the number of adoptive parents finding their own birthmother is high, they are most likely encouraging networking and you should plan on creating a website for your adoption, contacting everyone you know, etc.
* What is the average wait?
While this is a good guideline, the more open you are on race and other factors will significantly impact your wait. If you are pursuing a Caucasian child only, make sure that the agency you select primarily places Caucasian children. Otherwise, your average wait could be significantly longer.
* What is the longest wait?
Somebody always has to wait longer than others. This will give you an idea of what your longest wait could be. Find out more abou the families that have waited the longest. Are they only open to a Caucasian child, do they have biological children, are they over 45, etc. This will give you an idea of where you fall - good or bad.
* If you are open to all races, ask the same questions for families open to all races?
* What is the average total cost for adoptions completed by your agency?
The cost of open domestic adoptions can vary greatly. Our second adoption was less than $10,000. This was a situation where her birthparents found us on the Internet. I have seen open domestic adoptions run over $40,000. My personal opinion is that open domestic adoptions should never be more than $25,000. and generally less. There may be unique circumstances that cause an specific adoption to be higher but it should be the exception to the rule.
* How long have you been in business?
I would recommend that you find an agency that has been doing domestic adoptions for at least five years. It takes awhile to market an agency and if no one knows them, they will have few expectant parents coming in.
* Are you a non-profit?
Some adoption grants require that you work with a non-profit agency.
* How many children have you placed in each of the last five years? How many of these were situations where the adoptive parents had found the birthmother on their own?
Some agencies really push networking (this is not bad). If the number of adoptive parents finding their own birthmother is high, they are most likely encouraging networking and you should plan on creating a website for your adoption, contacting everyone you know, etc.
* What is the average wait?
While this is a good guideline, the more open you are on race and other factors will significantly impact your wait. If you are pursuing a Caucasian child only, make sure that the agency you select primarily places Caucasian children. Otherwise, your average wait could be significantly longer.
* What is the longest wait?
Somebody always has to wait longer than others. This will give you an idea of what your longest wait could be. Find out more abou the families that have waited the longest. Are they only open to a Caucasian child, do they have biological children, are they over 45, etc. This will give you an idea of where you fall - good or bad.
* If you are open to all races, ask the same questions for families open to all races?
* What is the average total cost for adoptions completed by your agency?
The cost of open domestic adoptions can vary greatly. Our second adoption was less than $10,000. This was a situation where her birthparents found us on the Internet. I have seen open domestic adoptions run over $40,000. My personal opinion is that open domestic adoptions should never be more than $25,000. and generally less. There may be unique circumstances that cause an specific adoption to be higher but it should be the exception to the rule.
Emma's Story - Fireworks in December!
After waiting almost two years for our first baby, we decided to leave our website up after we adopted Anna in April of 2001 since we knew we wanted to adopt another child or baby. As soon as we had time, we planned on updating it. However, before we updated our adoption web site, we received a call from a birthmother – the Saturday after Thanksgiving 2001. She had done a search on adoption and found us!
We explained that we had one child but wanted to adopt another baby. After several phone calls, we decided to travel to meet the birth mother and birth father. The baby was due very soon so we went five days after our first call. We had a nice visit with them and we all agreed to an adoption plan. We than went home to wait. Scott and I now had the job of selecting a boy name. We struggled with this and just couldn’t find the perfect name for a baby boy so special.
We were not even home a week and we got the call – it’s a girl! Now wasn’t it supposed to be a baby boy? Based on two ultrasounds, we had been told it was a boy! As soon as I told Scott it was a girl, he looked at me and said “so is her name Emma Grace?” To which, I answered “yes”. Now that was an easy decision. We packed up that night and left early the next morning to go see our new baby and her birth parents.
Unfortunately, the hospital was not very welcoming to adoptive parents and we didn’t get to the see the baby for two days and this was only with the help of the adoption social worker. Emma, our little baby girl, was very small and was in the hospital for six days and we only got to see her once. This was very disappointing for us as we had been able to visit our first daughter any time, day or night. Finally on December 12th, we got to pick up our precious little baby! As we were now in another state, we had to wait until the Interstate compact (adoption paperwork) was approved before we could leave. We were hoping to be home for our first Christmas as a family, not a couple. On December 19th, we talked to our adoption agency around 4:30 and she told us that she still hadn’t received the approval from the state so tomorrow would be the earliest. At 5:00 she called us back, we were approved. Someone had stayed late and finished up our paperwork. We would be home for Christmas!
We initially had a lot of contact with both of Emma’s birthparents via email and phone calls. We also sent letters and pictures. Unfortunately, we have lost contact with her birthmother but we hope someday she will contact us. We still have contact with her birthfather. We recently visited him on a trip to Chicago. The girls loved seeing him again and we all had a nice visit.
Adoption has been such a blessing to us. I can’t imagine being happier. We have two beautiful, healthy little girls through open adoption. We recommend that all adoptive parents use the Internet and other networking tools.
We explained that we had one child but wanted to adopt another baby. After several phone calls, we decided to travel to meet the birth mother and birth father. The baby was due very soon so we went five days after our first call. We had a nice visit with them and we all agreed to an adoption plan. We than went home to wait. Scott and I now had the job of selecting a boy name. We struggled with this and just couldn’t find the perfect name for a baby boy so special.
We were not even home a week and we got the call – it’s a girl! Now wasn’t it supposed to be a baby boy? Based on two ultrasounds, we had been told it was a boy! As soon as I told Scott it was a girl, he looked at me and said “so is her name Emma Grace?” To which, I answered “yes”. Now that was an easy decision. We packed up that night and left early the next morning to go see our new baby and her birth parents.
Unfortunately, the hospital was not very welcoming to adoptive parents and we didn’t get to the see the baby for two days and this was only with the help of the adoption social worker. Emma, our little baby girl, was very small and was in the hospital for six days and we only got to see her once. This was very disappointing for us as we had been able to visit our first daughter any time, day or night. Finally on December 12th, we got to pick up our precious little baby! As we were now in another state, we had to wait until the Interstate compact (adoption paperwork) was approved before we could leave. We were hoping to be home for our first Christmas as a family, not a couple. On December 19th, we talked to our adoption agency around 4:30 and she told us that she still hadn’t received the approval from the state so tomorrow would be the earliest. At 5:00 she called us back, we were approved. Someone had stayed late and finished up our paperwork. We would be home for Christmas!
We initially had a lot of contact with both of Emma’s birthparents via email and phone calls. We also sent letters and pictures. Unfortunately, we have lost contact with her birthmother but we hope someday she will contact us. We still have contact with her birthfather. We recently visited him on a trip to Chicago. The girls loved seeing him again and we all had a nice visit.
Adoption has been such a blessing to us. I can’t imagine being happier. We have two beautiful, healthy little girls through open adoption. We recommend that all adoptive parents use the Internet and other networking tools.
Anna's Story
A Wild Roller Coaster Ride
We, Scott and LuAnn, were married on April 4, 1998. Knowing that we wanted a big family by today’s standards, we immediately tried to have a baby. However, infertility issues prevented us from having a biological child. We were blessed in being able to discover our fertility issues in 1999 and we quickly moved to adoption to build our family.
We had discussed adoption before our marriage and we both felt that this was the path God wanted us to take to build our family. We completed our homestudy and our “Dear Birth Parent” letter in the fall of 1999.
After only being in the “book” for just over two months, we received our first call. We were so excited! She was a beautiful 15 year old birthmother whose parents strongly supported her in the adoption process. We fell in love with the birthmother and her family and prayed that this would be our child through adoption. It was down to us and one other couple. However, God had different plans and the other couple was chosen to adopt this child.
We initially thought that since we got one call so quickly, we would get another one very soon. However after waiting another six months and not receiving any calls from birth parents, we decided to be more proactive in finding birthparents. We created our first adoption web site and distributed "hope to adopt" letters and adoption cards to our friends and family. We had numerous calls and emails from birthmothers from our adoption web site but still no baby. In March of 2001, we became aware of a potential birthmother situation through someone at our church. She was expecting twins - a boy and a girl! Both of us have twins in our family and we were really excited. Two babies would even be better than one baby!!!
On April 12, our social worker called us and said “we have a situation”. Since I had heard this several times before, I didn’t get too excited, plus we were still waiting to hear more about the twins. She had a young birthmother, Elizabeth, that was due any time in the next month. Would we be interested? Of course we were but I also explained the twin situation. Our social worker told us we would be able to do both adoptions if the birthmothers agreed. We talked several times that day before I realized that this birthmother had actually picked us and not just narrowed it down to several couples. Now I was excited!!! Would this baby be the answer to our adoption dream?
Sunday was Easter and we were praying that this adoption would go through. We didn’t have an exact due date for the baby but the birthmother was going to the Dr. on Wednesday and we would get more information about the birthmother and the baby after that. We decided to only tell my younger sister and her husband about this baby on Easter.
We had both previously scheduled three days off after Easter to get some yard work done. At 9:00 am on Monday morning our social worker called us to and said “Elizabeth had a baby girl at 3:15 am." We have a baby! I quickly woke up my night-owl of a husband to tell him we had a baby girl. I think he thought he was dreaming. By noon we were at the hospital and we were able to hold and feed our precious little baby girl. She was absolutely beautiful! Two days later we took our baby Anna home.
Elizabeth, Anna's birthmother, initially did not want contact with us or the baby but after a week decided she wanted to meet us. We were scared: what if she didn’t like us, what if she decided she wanted to parent this beautiful little girl, etc.? However, we were excited to meet her and take pictures so that we could share information with Anna about her birthmother and family. Although we were very nervous, we were thrilled to have this visit. We met not only Anna’s birthmother but her two half sisters as well. We took pictures of everybody and are now able to tell Anna how special her birthmother is. We initially maintained contact through letters and pictures. However, we have lost contact with Elizabeth at this time. We hope some day that we will reconnect and we will welcome her and her family back into our lives.
We later found out that the birthmother expecting twins decided to parent. We wish her the best.
Our adoption journey did not end here. We welcome you to contine on and read Emma's Adoption Story.
We, Scott and LuAnn, were married on April 4, 1998. Knowing that we wanted a big family by today’s standards, we immediately tried to have a baby. However, infertility issues prevented us from having a biological child. We were blessed in being able to discover our fertility issues in 1999 and we quickly moved to adoption to build our family.
We had discussed adoption before our marriage and we both felt that this was the path God wanted us to take to build our family. We completed our homestudy and our “Dear Birth Parent” letter in the fall of 1999.
After only being in the “book” for just over two months, we received our first call. We were so excited! She was a beautiful 15 year old birthmother whose parents strongly supported her in the adoption process. We fell in love with the birthmother and her family and prayed that this would be our child through adoption. It was down to us and one other couple. However, God had different plans and the other couple was chosen to adopt this child.
We initially thought that since we got one call so quickly, we would get another one very soon. However after waiting another six months and not receiving any calls from birth parents, we decided to be more proactive in finding birthparents. We created our first adoption web site and distributed "hope to adopt" letters and adoption cards to our friends and family. We had numerous calls and emails from birthmothers from our adoption web site but still no baby. In March of 2001, we became aware of a potential birthmother situation through someone at our church. She was expecting twins - a boy and a girl! Both of us have twins in our family and we were really excited. Two babies would even be better than one baby!!!
On April 12, our social worker called us and said “we have a situation”. Since I had heard this several times before, I didn’t get too excited, plus we were still waiting to hear more about the twins. She had a young birthmother, Elizabeth, that was due any time in the next month. Would we be interested? Of course we were but I also explained the twin situation. Our social worker told us we would be able to do both adoptions if the birthmothers agreed. We talked several times that day before I realized that this birthmother had actually picked us and not just narrowed it down to several couples. Now I was excited!!! Would this baby be the answer to our adoption dream?
Sunday was Easter and we were praying that this adoption would go through. We didn’t have an exact due date for the baby but the birthmother was going to the Dr. on Wednesday and we would get more information about the birthmother and the baby after that. We decided to only tell my younger sister and her husband about this baby on Easter.
We had both previously scheduled three days off after Easter to get some yard work done. At 9:00 am on Monday morning our social worker called us to and said “Elizabeth had a baby girl at 3:15 am." We have a baby! I quickly woke up my night-owl of a husband to tell him we had a baby girl. I think he thought he was dreaming. By noon we were at the hospital and we were able to hold and feed our precious little baby girl. She was absolutely beautiful! Two days later we took our baby Anna home.
Elizabeth, Anna's birthmother, initially did not want contact with us or the baby but after a week decided she wanted to meet us. We were scared: what if she didn’t like us, what if she decided she wanted to parent this beautiful little girl, etc.? However, we were excited to meet her and take pictures so that we could share information with Anna about her birthmother and family. Although we were very nervous, we were thrilled to have this visit. We met not only Anna’s birthmother but her two half sisters as well. We took pictures of everybody and are now able to tell Anna how special her birthmother is. We initially maintained contact through letters and pictures. However, we have lost contact with Elizabeth at this time. We hope some day that we will reconnect and we will welcome her and her family back into our lives.
We later found out that the birthmother expecting twins decided to parent. We wish her the best.
Our adoption journey did not end here. We welcome you to contine on and read Emma's Adoption Story.
Why Open Adoption?
Sometimes people ask us why we choose open adoption. There are several reasons that is was right for us. First, we wanted to have the experience of having a newborn baby at least once. We were able to see both of our girls in the hospital and take them home from the hospital at 2 days old and 6 days old. This would not of been possible with international adoption.
The second reason was adoptive parent requirements. International adoption requirements vary by country and also by agency. We did not meet the requirements for many countries as we were married less than a year when we started the process. Also, we did not have the ability to travel for extended stays, which further reduced the countries availble for us.
The last reason is we like the fact that we are able to tell our children about their birthparents. What they were like, do they look like them, the sacrifices they made, etc. We love their birthparents! We wanted to be able to share pictures of their birthparents with them, specifically of them holding them. We also like the fact that we were able to get better medical backgrounds and updates. A side benefit that we have found is that we have somethings in common with them. Maybe it is the long dark hair, a favorite subject in school, a vocation, hobbies, etc.
Is open adoption for everyone? Probably not. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes things change and the relationship changes for either or both sides. Would we do it again? Absolutely YES!
The second reason was adoptive parent requirements. International adoption requirements vary by country and also by agency. We did not meet the requirements for many countries as we were married less than a year when we started the process. Also, we did not have the ability to travel for extended stays, which further reduced the countries availble for us.
The last reason is we like the fact that we are able to tell our children about their birthparents. What they were like, do they look like them, the sacrifices they made, etc. We love their birthparents! We wanted to be able to share pictures of their birthparents with them, specifically of them holding them. We also like the fact that we were able to get better medical backgrounds and updates. A side benefit that we have found is that we have somethings in common with them. Maybe it is the long dark hair, a favorite subject in school, a vocation, hobbies, etc.
Is open adoption for everyone? Probably not. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes things change and the relationship changes for either or both sides. Would we do it again? Absolutely YES!
Our Family
Since I am starting a new blog, I thought I would give you some background information. We are a Christian family of four, through the gift of open adoption. Our daughters are truly a blessing and a gift and we can't imagine our life without them. Through our daughters, we have experienced more love, and joy, and happiness, then we could imagine. We praise God for placing these children in our lives.
We also thank God for their birthparents. We can not imagine how difficult it was for them to make the decision to make an adoption plan for their children. We are eternally grateful to them for selecting open adoption and selecting US!
Our journey to our daughters through open adoption was a roller coaster ride (more on their stories later or you can check it out now at: Anna's Story and Emma's Story). But, it brought us closer to God and helped prepare us for being parents.
We will use this blog to share information on the open adoption process, creating an adoption profile, dealing with adoption related questions, etc. Please leave us a note if you like something!
God bless,
LuAnn
We also thank God for their birthparents. We can not imagine how difficult it was for them to make the decision to make an adoption plan for their children. We are eternally grateful to them for selecting open adoption and selecting US!
Our journey to our daughters through open adoption was a roller coaster ride (more on their stories later or you can check it out now at: Anna's Story and Emma's Story). But, it brought us closer to God and helped prepare us for being parents.
We will use this blog to share information on the open adoption process, creating an adoption profile, dealing with adoption related questions, etc. Please leave us a note if you like something!
God bless,
LuAnn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
